Lord, I believe...

In just three short days, it will be Christmas morning...and it will be my youngest grandson, Noah's, third birthday. It will be the second Christmas and birthday he has spent without his mommy and my heart is grieving for he and his sisters, Kaylee and Emma. My heart is also grieving for my daughter. Katie is somewhere in this big country...possibly Indiana, but no one knows for sure. It's as if she has dropped off the face of the earth. But I know, with all that is within me, that she is scared and is missing her babies. I know she feels as though she cannot come home. And I know the devil is whispering to her the lies he loves to tell to those who have made bad choices. He is so very good at kicking us when we are down... If only I could  get a message to her...to tell her she CAN come home...that we will work through this together...that the Lord is just waiting for her to turn around.
Yet I know there is only one thing I can do...and that is to pray. So I pray morning, noon and night. I pray when I'm driving. I pray when I'm puttering around the house. I pray constantly for my prodigal daughter and I ask the Lord to protect her and draw her to Himself. And I pray for my grandchildren...that they will not forget their mommy. I pray that the Lord would heal their hurting hearts and that He would fill the empty place that was left when their mommy walked away.

Lord, I am asking, in this season of miracles, when we celebrate the miracle of You coming to earth as a lowly babe in order to save us from our sins, that You would make a way that I would know my daughter is safe. And Lord, if it is not to be, I ask that You help me to trust You, for You have a plan...
 Lord, I believe...help my unbelief....

"Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!"     ~Mark 9:24 NKJV~

Saying Goodbye to "The Lobo"...

It is a cold, grey and breezy day here in northern California...how fitting, as today we say goodbye to my cousin's husband, Jerry. Though I hadn't spent much time with him over the years, one thing is certain, he left an indelible impression on me. He had a way of making me laugh until I thought I would wet myself...especially when he was with my brother-in-law, Terry. Jerry and Terry...what a couple of jokesters they were! He always had a smile on his face and his eyes sparkled like the the sun dancing on a summer sky. He had a stutter in his speech, which only endeared him all the more to those who knew and loved him. My niece, Darin-Rebecca, said he would get stuck on a word then say he needed a shot of whiskey to stop the stutter...I can almost hear him say that in my mind!

He loved life, and his wife, Jackie (my cousin), WAS his life. They recently celebrated there 31'st wedding anniversary and he wrote on the envelope of the card, "My Wife, 31 more".  When she asked what that meant, he said, "I want more years with you".  That envelope will, no doubt, become a beloved possession of Jackie's.

Did Jerry know You, Lord? My cousin, Susie, spoke to him of You on the phone less than 24 hours before he passed away. She says she was comfortable that he was passing into Your presence to spend eternity with You. I pray that is so...and I cling to the promise that You do not desire that a single soul should perish. I KNOW that You can take a thousand years in what we see as a blink of an eye, to reveal Yourself to the lost...and for that, I am eternally grateful.

Today I will say good bye not only to Jerry, but to my cousins, Jackie and Susie... I don't know when, or if, I will see them again this side of heaven. If not, I am confident we will have a blessed reunion and spend eternity together...

Today I will no doubt cry, laugh, grieve and rejoice...but joy will come in the morning...

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." ~Matthew 5:4